"couples"

"look at us, we used to rip off the fall. we rip off eno now, and sing like jerry hall." - the long blondes

maybe if i had noticed the changes on the long blondes's myspace page, "couples" would have been less of a surprise. the new sleek black background, the quote above, the "new wave / idol / pop" description - i should have expected a different kind of band from the one that wrote my superfave someone to drive you home. but, really, i don't check myspace pages often enough to take notes on their aesthetic evolutions (except for team robespierre's, because a) they don't have a real website and b) i'm on it and vain). so i had nothing but awesome expectations for "couples", expectations that were dashed about fifteen seconds into "century." to top it all off, i've now come to the realization that "century" is probably the best song on "couples". the blondes were in town this weekend for two shows, and it was no accident that i didn't go to either - everything about "couples", from its irritating post-ironic ironic quotation marks (so irritating!) to its rather awful songs (yes, in that order) has spoiled the long blondes for me. i am pretty bummed, y'all. i used to really like them.

the worst thing about "couples" music-wise is, well... everything? why would a perfectly fucking rocking arty band go and ruin themselves with all this plastic disco crap? seriously, i wish i fucking knew. "couples" reneges on every single thing i liked about the long blondes, kate jackson's insecure femme fatale, dorian cox's jangly riffs, the aura of urgency that permeated. in their places are endlessly circular lyrics, garden variety licks, and an overwhelming sense that they rushed into this, their second album. "century," the album's leadoff track, has every glaring indication of being destined for single-dom, washy synths and faux dance bass abounding, an unswerving neo-wave homage to the capitulation of "heart of glass." and, like i said, it's probably the best song on "couples"! the biggest difference i can spot between someone to drive you home and this pile of garbage is the producer - instead of pulp's steve mackey, who undoubtedly had some hand in shaping the long blondes's sound, the group chose dj erol alkan, a fixture in the london dance scene, who undoubtedly guided the long blondes towards making this pile of crap. "century" reflects alkan's dance/electronica background the greatest, but "couples", being a terrible terrible record, is rich with accidents, mistakes, and absolutely wrong decisions. the worst (after those fucking quotation marks), in the sense of making the least amount of sense and the most amount of irritation possible, is the album's inexplicable punctuation by dour british voiceovers. despite those pitfalls (and more), there's little sense in blaming alkan for "couples"'s greatest fault, which is simply that the songs really aren't very good at all.

my favorite part of someone to drive you home was kate jackson's fierce delivery and dorian cox's nuanced, gender-crossing lyrics, so it's natural that i find "couples" lacking most greviously in this department. jackson's voice is in as fine form as ever, but her character, once a brazen post-feminist with an eye on style and men, is flat and utterly dull. and it's not just jackson's persona that has taken a hit; cox, the primary lyricist again, has scripted song after song of trite, unengaging material. "here comes the serious bit," my absolutely least favorite song on "couples", seems to only have five words in it: "here," "comes," "the," "serious," and "bit." even cleverer songs like "erin o'connor" (key lyric: "i'll pretend i really cum") suffer from "couples"'s endemic lack of depth.

"couples" can't quite stand on its own feet musically either. even discounting the vast gaping holes of "nostalgia" and "too clever by half," the album has a slapdash feel to it, like an essay written at 3 am and due at 8. "i'm going to hell" has the same five or six chords played over again, and "the couples" feels just as vapid. there's no meat to these songs, nothing that reveals itself only after four or five attentive listens. for the most part, it's just depressingly mediocre, which smarts all the more for someone to drive you home's excellence. true, there are some decent songs besides "century;" "erin o'connor" and "guilt" find the long blondes staying mostly true to their punker selves, and are mostly redeemable. in other words, they're decent enough to be someone to drive you home outtakes.

more than anything else, "couples" makes me sad.

"century" & "here comes the serious bit"
(both files are 320 kbps, so they're rather large.)

one of the best british albums of last year that suffered a criminally delayed us release, so now it's one of the best albums of this year

normally, i trust and respect rough trade records quite a bit. in fact, i admire them so much that i made a deliberate detour to their london hq when last i was in town - the dollar is still too much of a whiny little bitch for me to shill out there for albums i can get here, but it was a really cool shop (also, had great street food while there). however, rough trade sometimes makes questionable decisions that are utterly befuddling, especially for their american fans. one of the most perplexing was the eight month delay between the british and north american release of someone to drive you home, debut album by sheffield's slickest glam punksters the long blondes.

it is clear from the outset that the long blondes know how to rock, lead guitarist dorian cox's melodies rough-hewn but pointed, ringing with a kind of 70s earnestness, completed by a constantly prominent bass that reminds you that it is okay to dance. early on in their career, the long blondes famously issued this statement: we do not listen to the beatles, the rolling stones, jimi hendrix, the doors or bob dylan, a bold claim that set them apart musically and intellectually. and, indeed, their sound, though it sounds like a straight throwback, is as unique as it is enjoyable. someone to drive you home was produced by steve mackey, ex-pulp bassist, after a string of singles earned the long blondes a great deal of acclaim, and was released in the uk on nov. 6, 2006. however, and here's where it gets sucky, north americans had to wait 8 fucking months for someone to drive you home to come out here! honestly, the damn album gets an 8.2 from pitchfork, blogs love it, and there were people who downloaded it and sincerely wanted to spend money on it and couldn't (read: mr. mammoth, y'all), yet it still took until july for us to get it! rough trade, what were you thinking?

jarring and jangly, someone to drive you home seduces you in seconds with its haughty melodies and clever lyrics, gripping in an instant and riveting for months. frontlady kate jackson sings one hell of a story, her character history developed and brought alive over someone's twelve songs, a character that combines the disdain and allure of femme fatale with the anxious desperation of a bridget jones. jackson nearly always sings in the first person , lending the songs an acute air of authenticity and drawing a striking portrait of modern femininity simultaneously. at once jealous, proud, assertive, caustic, passionate, aloof, and, most of all, sensitive, jackson's character engages as often as it repels, so we end up rooting for her whether she is trying to land a married man or bemoaning her unfulfilling home life. as honest as she sounds, it's really very striking that nearly all of the long blondes's lyrics are written by dorian cox - someone to drive you home only features two songs penned by jackson. yet, though cox displays unusual skill in cross-gender perspectives, jackson is necessary to bring this modern woman to life, imbuing her voice with smouldering desperation and captivating charm.

before the release of someone, the long blondes released a long string of singles, most of which appear on someone to drive you home, making it pop with catchy guitars and smart hooks. perhaps the band's most well-known song is "giddy stratospheres," which has been released four separate times. sharp guitars and saccharine synth drive this jealous anthem about a love rival, a groovy post-punk dance. "once and never again" is a bright song with lots of treble, and an admonishment from jackson that "you don't need a boyfriend," liberating nineteen year olds from the clutches of premature relationships. on a darker side of things, album closer "a knife for the girls" is a worrying rejection song with ominous drums and pointed distortion, yet is just as catchy as everything else on the album.

i think someone to drive you home is my most-listened to album of the year. it's angular and gloriously lo-fi sounding, rich and well-written, and never fails to cheer me up and make me dance, and, really, i don't think an album can do better than that. it's one of the most satisfying records of the year, and i am happy to go on record and say i love this album, and there aren't many that i would recommend as highly as this.

"giddy stratospheres" & "you could have both"
buy someone to drive you home from rough trade!

radio is only dying in america.

conventional radio sucks, stateside. as idolator reported yesterday, some economists are proposing to axe it - not for the compelling "it sucks" reason, but to encourage consumers to buy more CDs. idolator takes stan liebowitz to task for pandering his absurd notion, thankfully, but there's no denying that a cancer has taken over our airwaves. i toiled diligently for my college radio station, and love and cherish community radio, and only listen to three radio stations in new york - wnyc, wkcr (columbia university radio), and wfuv (fordham university radio). you know the disgusting statistics about clear channel, and how they own some absurd percentage of america's airwaves, and the payola scandal that elliot spitzer rode to new york's governorship, and the mandated playlists, and how radio is dying a long and painful death, especially with soundexchange's enthusiasm for collecting ginormous royalties from mom-and-pop net radio stations.

anyway, enough of my diatribes. the point of the matter is, this is endemic primarily in america. radio THRIVES in the uk and europe, and plays new and exciting music - blogging doesn't have to be as popular in britain, because they hear the new art brut single on the radio, when it seems likely that no one at clear channel has even heard of the artistic art brut, much less the musical variety. but i'm not here today to talk about art brut. i'm here to talk about the long blondes and france. seemingly unrelated, the long blondes (someone to drive you home, their debut, is definitely WSMO) in fact took a trip to paris on december 4 of last year to play a set on France Inter radio, which often broadcasts performances live on the air (the closest we get to that is bob boilen). these performances are black sessions, and the long blondes' was made available on dime a dozen not too long ago. i've been meaning to post the whole set, but my computer died and my file hosting server is taking forever, so, sadly, i've put up all the tracks on zshare, where you'll have to open their window first. the french announcer translates kate jackson's comments from time to time, which is neither irritating nor intrusive, so they have been left in the mix.

i was also able to pick up an art brut black session, and i'll be posting that when i get my computer back.

the long blondes - maison de la radio, paris, france - december 4, 2006

1. lust in the movies
2. weekend without makeup
3. company of women
4. madame ray
5. fulwood babylon
6. giddy stratospheres
7. only lovers left alive
8. you could have both
9. once and never again
10. five ways to end it
11. separated by motorways

you can purchase the excellent someone to drive you home directly from rough trade here.


this just in: waves and wires has converted a long blondes show from june 16 into mp3 format, and is available here.